four hallmarks

💡 Four "Hallmark movies" in one day is too much.

🤖 A "Hallmark film" refers specifically to movies produced or aired by the Hallmark Channel, known for their wholesome, sentimental tone, predictable romantic or family-centered plots, and idyllic settings, often tied to holidays like Christmas. In a broader sense, the term is used to describe any movie that embodies these characteristics, even if it is not directly associated with Hallmark, often evoking coziness, nostalgia, and formulaic storytelling.

"Hot Frosty" (2024, Netflix) - a widow counters her loneliness with a magical snowman brought to life

• The unorthodox character background is a benefit in the format. "I'm a snowman". Nobody wants any more questions. It's magic.
• Jack is the first of several male love-interests who have a super-power of being incredibly nice 💡( and, liked by everybody in the Hallmark-movie town within a week).
• Definitely the horniest of the films. 💬( You want me to get behind you and push?)
• Also the only film with a straight up villain ⚙️( Darryl, from The Office is the power-mad sheriff) 🔥( of course it's a camp villain)

"Holiday Touchdown" (2024, Hallmark) - a Kansas City Chiefs super-fan falls in love with a Chiefs marketing executive

• The most "name" actors of any of these. Both Diedrich Bader and Ed Begley Jr., as well as cameos including the mayor of KC and various Chiefs personalities.
• There was no Taylor Swift. And about one minute of "watching people watch football". 💡( which was enough; watching people watch football is extremely boring)
• Unlike the other films, nobody really believes in the magic of the hat (other than the protagonist).
• The only "Hallmark film" on this list actually by Hallmark. This showed, both in the Kansas City references and the more aggressive conforming to the genre.

"Christmas Cupid" (2010, ABC) - a ruthless PR executive is forced to reconsider her life choices while being visited by three Christmas ghosts (exactly like A Christmas Carol)

• Some of the most off-color lines. 💬( Quinn was dancing on this spot earlier this evening when she apparently choked to death on an olive while drinking her martini. Too bad it wasn't an apple martini, or she'd be alive today.)
• The main character is, predictably, kind of awful at the beginning of the film. And, during most of the film. But the three Christmas ghosts convince her to change her ways. 🔥( the machine didn't put "female protagonist" in its stereotype of a Hallmark film).
• I found the constant "my boyfriend's dad owns the company, and if I do well on this project I will get the promotion" too implausible to be believable.

"Fit for Christmas" (2022, CBS) - A Christmas-obsessed fitness instructor falls for a mysterious businessman.

• The most Christmas-obsessed film by far.
• The "someone else just flew in from New York" trope happened a lot.
• Once again, the male love-interest has a super-power of being very nice, which leads to everyone liking him.
• A town where they have trivia night "about the town" is definitely creepy. 🔥( what was the answer to Question 3 on last year's trivia night?)
• The villain was the concept of big business?